Oceans

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown, where my feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep, my faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed, and You won't start now

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

This is the prayer I have spoken every day for the last several months knowing of our time across the oceans and to the places He would take me...deeper than my feet could ever wander. It has taken a while for me to sort the feelings associated with our change in plans. My human side wanting a clear understanding and wanting it immediately. Feeling the need to be able to explain to the thirty-one people who were traveling with us and our beloved friends in the Solomon Islands who were waiting for us exactly what happened and why. I do not have the answer yet.

What I do have is the beginnings of peace. His Peace. I am finding it in the stillness of my days here. I listen to the breeze rustle through the trees and I feel His breath. I watch the flowers as they reach towards the sun and I can see His light. I hear the waves crash on the rocks and I can feel His power. I watch the beauty in a sunset and I see His majesty. And my faith is being made stronger in the presence of my Savior.
I feel the stirrings of change within me. I am ready. My prayer, to go deeper than my feet would ever wander. While this has a somewhat symbolic meaning with our upcoming pilgrimage I am beginning to realize that what I really want is to go deeper. I have become comfortable in my familiar. Even my 'unexpected' is comfortable and I know there is more for me. A season of change...

As I look back I can see that this process has been a while in coming. Retrospect is always so much clearer and easier. A word that had once caused me pain now brings me the most profound comfort and peace. Relinquishment. I am free...to just be...and that's the beauty here. I don't know what it looks like yet. My season of fullness is about to change and I am not in a hurry to fill it up. I just want to be...somebody's wife, somebody's mother/grandmother, somebody's friend. Most of all to be taken deeper than my feet could ever wander, my faith made stronger, and to be in the presence of my Savior.