Refinement

I was thinking about the words of a song by Ginny Owens this morning…one I have not thought of for quite some time. They seem so appropriate for this season of my life.

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

It is the beginning of my travels and I as I sit here I know parts of this journey have not been easy…but without doubt, I am not alone.

I have long given up the notion that these are 'trips' I take to do 'good works' but a part of my life and calling. I found that I struggled some this year with that calling and many times wrestled with God asking 'for a life of ease' instead of asking for endurance and perseverance. It was a year filled with so many changes  I think I just grew weary and so many things felt hard.

Something happened right before we left and I have found myself thinking of it lately.  Tom and I  recently celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary in Pacific Grove. I was sitting in the courtyard of the Post Graduate School enjoying the cool breeze and listening to the faint sound of the waves as they hit the shoreline. I looked up and I noticed I was sitting in front of a beautiful array of flags from  countries around the world. I have always enjoyed traveling and so the beauty of this caught my attention. Almost, as if on cue, I  began to hear bagpipes playing inside  the Officers Club for what may have been a retirement ceremony. The timing of this  was overwhelming to me and I began to realize that this was no accident. As I began to fully appreciate the beauty around me God had one more exquisite gift for me to enjoy. The most impressive peacock I have ever seen walked in front of me displaying his full plumage. His wingspan was at least six feet wide and it was as if he appeared out of nowhere to suddenly stand before the flags and let his beauty take my breath away. What a beautiful gift it was. It was unforgettable to me….

I have just now begun to understand the depth of that moment. My life is that moment, filled with  incredible beauty in the gifts that God has given  me. The gifts are intentional on His part and He fills them with the things that give me the deepest satisfaction and joy. It is also intensely hard at times but I am beginning to remember that I am not alone in those times either. I remember He has given me intensely hard and incredibly beautiful and I shall settle for no less...